Cream cheese is good. Oh, wait, blenders. What?

Blenders. The Great Wiki Karmel does not own one, for two reasons:

• As many of my loyal readers know, I don't cook. This week alone, I've gone to Subway*, Tortilla Plus, Red Pepper, and Montague Street Bagels. (In case you were wondering, 12 inch meatball on Italian Herbs and Cheese, with extra American Cheese**, toasted, with oregano and parmesan cheese; guacamole nachos (which comes with delicious refried beans) and a chicken quesadilla; General Tso's (check out the link- interesting discussion on the origin or the dish) Combo platter (which comes with broccoli, an egg roll, and white rice); and an everything bagel, extra toasted with extra cream cheese***). I have no need for any cooking utensils other than a pot (to make hard boiled eggs and pasta), a toaster oven (to make delicious sandwiches (1. toast two pieces of 7 grain bread. 2. put on provolone or brie cheese (if you are interested, I know a great baked brie recipe) and toast again. 3. put on salami or turkey, respectively and toast again. 4. cut**** diagonally. 5. enjoy.), or a grill (I am officially the greatest hot dog chef in the world). FGS (Fort Worth, TX) likes to get all fancy and cook things I've never heard of. I like to order in.

• I don't like mixed drinks. Especially certain drinks with tequila that typically require a blender. I hate tequila. Strong word, I know, but it's true.

Why do I mention all of this? Loyal reader "Yakkity Yak, Don't talk back" sent me this.

*When I first moved to New York, I thought, "Subway. Stupid chain restaurant. I'm going to eat authentic, New York subs." You know what, my loyal readers, they aren't as good. Consistency is the big issue. Subways are damn tasty.

**American cheese. I know. Gross, processed, "can you even call it cheese" cheese. But, again, damn tasty (in certain situations. Scrambled eggs being another).

***Cream cheese is the official favorite food of the Great Wiki Karmel. It's the tastiest thing ever.

****That's for you, BOTU.