Monday, April 30, 2007

90's: Age of the Fax

The Brother of the USOWK (otherwise known as my brother-in-law) sent me this email:

I was having a conversation the other day with an ex coworker about business technology, after he asked if he could fax me something. I laughed and said something like "I don't even own a land line, much less a fax machine. I don't think I've faxed anything in like 3years."

It got me thinking: we went from the letter (the only game in town),to the telephone (a revolutionary advance). Then, the telephone was the gold standard for a long time, until we discovered the ability to fax. However, fairly quickly after faxing started, we discovered scanning and e-mail attachments and the Internet and cell phones and stuff.

It seems like faxing sort of got the shaft, right? Will people look back on the 90's as the age of the fax?

Think about it, my loyal readers, when do you ever use a fax* machine? The Senior VP of my group questioned a few weeks ago why we still had a fax machine as no one ever actually uses it (though a week later, we got a fax**). He's right though. Who doesn't have a scanner?** It's much easier to use (I'm never sure if the paper needs to be upside down or not) and, as many of my loyal readers know, the Great Wiki Karmel loves email. Honestly, I've used a fax machine only a few times.

Maybe the BOTU was right. The fax could be technology of the 90's. But I think its advanced technology of the Baby Boom generation. Many Baby Boomers have been slow to embrace the Internet (my parents, especially). Sure, they email and look up the weather, but that's pretty much it. They don't use Feed Readers, Myspace (though neither do I), etc and they don't know what to do with routers, external hard drives, and scanners. Faxing was pretty much where they ended learning new technology. It's like that generation and music: They listened to Elvis, then the Beatles, then maybe Led Zeppelin, but at some point, they just stopped listening to new music. They certainly never made it to Neutral Milk Hotel (though I burned Arcade Fire's Funeral for my dad, and he liked it). Maybe the fax is their technological Beatles. Thoughts?

*Fax is a great Scrabble word. However the official father of Wiki Karmel, or Homer Simpson as he is known in certain circles, disagrees. According to HS, fax is not a word. Facsimile is. Fax is an abbreviation. Well HS, you are wrong. According to dictionary.com, fax is a synonym for facsimile machine or facsimile or the act of sending a facsimile. Fax is considered a SOWPOD.

**The Kansas City office does not own a scanner. Why? Who knows. Is scanning too advanced of a technology for Kansas City? Perhaps.*** So for them, we justify keeping a fax machine.

***The Great Wiki Karmel does not mean to imply that**** Kansas City is not the technological equivalent of New York (well, I kind of do, but it's just a joke).

****This sentance orginially read, "imply to Kansas City". Loyal reader Isabel (formerly de Sevilla, EspaƱa) pointed out the typo. Thanks Ees.

Some Changes around Wiki Karmel-Dom

As many of my loyal readers have probably already noticed (The Great Wiki Karmel maintains that his loyal readers are much more observant than most blog readers), there have been some changes to Wiki Karmel. As great as I am at, well, at everything, I could not have come up with this on my own. I need to credit Jim and thank him for his blog, "Tips For New Bloggers".

Depending on your Internet settings, you may notice an icon next to the web address. It's the official symbol of the Great Wiki Karmel. The symbol has also migrated to a new left column on the blog. A search function has been added (FGS (Fort Worth, TX) can now search himself and find out how many times he has been lucky enough to be mentioned in this great space) as well as label archives.

If any of my loyal readers have any ideas for improvements, by all means, let me know. The main page of Wiki Karmel is still very under construction. Hopefully in the next few weeks I'll get something on there.

Oh, and in the next few weeks, I will be hosting a blog by our favorite vagabond in Europe, Cato.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

This kind of seems illegal

A man in Germany was out drinking one night and got too drunk to go home. So what did he do? He, and his HORSE, slept in a bank ATM vestibule. No charges were filed...

The Great Wiki Karmel is not a fan of horses, though there are many practical uses for them, including glue!

Why, my loyal readers, do I have such animosity towards our equine* friends? When I was 10 to 15 or so (I know. It's hard to imagine the Great Wiki Karmel as a child. What, with my amazing intellect and keen observational skills. I assure you, I was just as Great back then) I went to Camp Weona every summer. One of the activities there was horseback trail riding. At the end of a ride, the horse girls would tie your horse up and you would get off. Well, my horse was sick from eating bad hay. So he collapsed on his stomach while I was waiting for it to be tied up and started to roll onto its side. If I hadn't jumped out of the saddle, the stupid horse would have crushed my leg, thus prematurely ending my great running career.

So, I hate horses.

*Equine is a great Scrabble word. Easy to get the other letters, easy to bingo (equines).

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

I'm still learning, be patient

I've finally learned how to put a Youtube clip onto my blog. Since the Great Wiki Karmel's words are a work of art, I will celebrate this achievement with another work of art. Enjoy, my loyal readers!


Monday, April 23, 2007

Speaking of Youtube...

...and of parodies, this is great. I'm not familiar with the original song, but I love Alanis's voice. And parodies are fun. Especially when they make fun of pop music.

IMOGEN!

FGS (Fort Worth, TX) and I randomly were watching Saturday Night Live a few weeks ago. I say randomly, because, as many of my loyal readers know, the Great Wiki Karmel does not watch SNL. Not because I don't like it, but more because I never think to watch it (either I'm busy or watching something else). Anyway... a great digital short came on and FGS and I were instant fans.

Fast forward a week or two. Cato, our favorite vagabond, is currently in town before becoming an illegal alien. He was playing some music for us and put on some Imogen Heap. The song is playing for a minute or so and then the chorus came on. FGS and I instantly look at each other and start laughing: the song from the digital short. This was Friday night.

Much to the annoyance of several of my loyal readers, Cato, FGS, "Yakkity Yak, Don't Talk Back" and I have been singing the chorus for the last two days. I encourage all of my loyal readers to watch the video so we don't sound crazy (explaining the video and why it's funny is difficult).

Because this is Wiki Karmel, and I like to delve a little deeper into all topics, "Dear Sister" is a parody of the Season 2 finale of "The O.C." Apparently there is a slow motion murder scene at the end of the episode where they play the song from Dear Sister. The song is called Hide and Seek. It's great. But it will get stuck in your head. You've been warned.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

It's a car! It's a plane! It's George Bush!

No, it's cows.

Cows are the biggest threat to global warming. How? By farting. A study released by The Food and Agricultural Organization, sponsored by the UN, states that carbon gas emissions from cow flatulence is the source of 18% of all greenhouse gases.

The study, called Livestock's Long Shadow, goes on to state that in addition to the cow flatus,

Burning fuel to produce fertiliser to grow feed, to produce meat and to transport it - and clearing vegetation for grazing - produces 9 per cent of all emissions of carbon dioxide, the most common greenhouse gas. And their wind and manure emit more than one third of emissions of another, methane, which warms the world 20 times faster than carbon dioxide.

Livestock also produces more than 100 other polluting gases, including more than two-thirds of the world's emissions of ammonia, one of the main causes of acid rain.

Ranching, the report adds, is "the major driver of deforestation" worldwide, and overgrazing is turning a fifth of all pastures and ranges into desert.Cows also soak up vast amounts of water: it takes a staggering 990 litres of water to produce one litre of milk.*

So what does this mean? Should the Great Wiki Karmel do his part and become a vegetarian (like FGS (Fort Worth, TX))**? Well...I'm not going to. But my loyal readers are certainly more than welcome to. Salami is just tooooooo good. (Side note: this was a link from the salami page in Wikipedia. I love the name.)

*This is actually from an article in the Independent, a newspaper in the U.K., talking about the report. The Independent is a liberal leaning newspaper that won the National Newspaper of the Year award at the 2004 British Press Awards. Bono is a columnist for the Independent.

**FGS (Fort Worth, TX) is not actually a vegetarian. But the Hess Truck is, which, for all intents and purposes, makes him one too.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

The "I Wish I Was an Engineer" Guy

Well, my loyal readers, the truth is, I didn't try very hard. The Great Wiki Karmel knows there is a way to put Youtube clips on blogs, but I watched the Sabres game (we won 4-2), and now I'm tired. Sorry.

The guy who invented the beer throwing fridge was on Letterman. That's all I wanted to say. Good night, my loyal readers, good night (and I say good night because I know my loyal readers are so loyal that they check Wiki Karmel every night before they go to sleep).

Editor's Notes

FYI

I can't get Youtube at work. There are a few things I would like to post about that. More to come tonight. Also, I will be tweaking the layout of the blog (next week(end)) and messing with the homepage. Get excited!

This is not a good idea

Well, my loyal readers, the Great Wiki Karmel is awesome at so many things. I could list all of my virtues, but I don't think the internet is big enough. One thing I am not, however, is patient. Which is why I will never be a teacher.

However, there are certain things I should be patient with. And my training is one of them. Which is why this is a terrible idea: I'm running a marathon in June.

I'll let that sink in for a minute.

The Great Wiki Karmel has laid out an impressive training program on this very website a couple times. This training program will get me ready to run a marathon sometime this fall. Why, then am I running one this spring? Well, I'm not going to run the whole thing. Around the beginning of June, my long runs will be somewhere in the neighborhood of 13 miles, or a half marathon. I'll run the first half of the marathon and then walk/lightly jog the second half. That will allow me to see my half marathon splits but still give me the experience of the marathon and an appreciation of the distance.

Also, the marathon is in South Bend, IN, home of the official parents (and Grandma) of the Great Wiki Karmel.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Yesterday, Today and Beyond

Yesterday the Great Wiki Karmel ran 5 miles. Today, I plan on running 5 more. Tomorrow I will run 7. I saw a new training plan (I don't remember where and don't feel like looking for it...) that suggests six days a week of running with two long runs and 4 short days in between. As the long runs get longer and longer, the short runs stay at about 5 to 6 miles. One of the long runs should start to get a little longer than the other. Thus my schedule would be 13, 0, 6, 5, 10, 5, 5 in a few months instead of 7, 0, 5, 5, 7, 5, 5 right now (Tuesday is the official off day due to happy hour with many of my loyal readers).

In a week or two, I will start lifting weights. Oy...

Vonnegut

As all of my loyal readers probably know, Kurt Vonnegut died last night. He was 84. I know loyal readers FGS (Fort Worth, TX) and "Yakkity Yak, Don't Talk Back" are Vonnegut fans, however, the Great Wiki Karmel is not. Though not due to disliking Vonnegut; I just haven't read enough to form an opinion. I read Slaughterhouse-Five years ago (perhaps close to 10) and remember enjoying it (though I can't tell you anything about the plot anymore). I recently read Breakfast of Champions and I was not a fan. At all. But I keep hearing over and over again Cat's Cradle, Cat's Cradle, Cat's Cradle (among others). So I will give Vonnegut another chance. After all, he apparently agrees with me about Breakfast of Champions.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Editors Note: Netflix

I recently had my Xbox 360 repaired. It had been broken since December. The 360 also doubles as mine and FGS (Fort Worth, TX)'s DVD player. So thus we haven't actually watched a DVD in over 4 months. But now it is fixed and we will resume netflixing.

So the Great Wiki Karmel watched two excellent movies this weekend. The first was Crash. I think I was the last person on Earth to see this movie. So I don't think this is necessary, but ********SPOILER ALERT********Do NOT read any more until you see a second alert signifying the end of the spoilers (I will still try to keep it vague). The scene with the shopkeeper and the little girl. That was jaw dropping. Wow... ********SPOILER ALERT OVER*****

The second movie I watched was JFK. Excellent. I actually like it better than Crash. I just don't know if I would recommend it to any of my loyal readers: It clocks in at about 3 and a half hours. Great, great movie though.

Side note: While I didn't Netflix it, I saw Grindhouse yesterday. Absolutely hilarious. Gross? Yes. But it was over the top gross that made it funny. I also wouldn't recommend it though: another 3 and a half hour movie. Except if you see it in the theaters, you can't have bathroom breaks or stretch your legs...

Running Update

I ran 8 miles over the weekend. 4.5 on Saturday and a disappointing 3.5 on Sunday. Why disappointing, my loyal readers? Well, I had been planning on making Sunday my long run day (I am running significantly longer on one day each week, as dictated by my training schedule). But I think Monday would be a better long run day since I have a weekly happy hour on Tuesday and don't run. My body, especially my feet, needs the day off...

As it was, yesterday was my long run day. The Great Wiki Karmel ran 7.06 miles in one hour.

Monday, April 09, 2007

My worst nightmare


And I'm never getting a boat....

Technical difficulties

There is something wrong with the spacing on the previous post. I will attempt to fix this later. Sorry for the inconvenience, my loyal readers.

Vanilla Ice Hockey

The Great Wiki Karmel is usually quite a humble person. But I feel like, just this once, I need to make an exception and brag a little. I won my fantasy hockey league!


Vanilla Ice Hockey was a fantastic team, and I want to go through and give recognition to all the hard work the team members did throughout the year.
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The star of my team was, of course, Sidney Crosby. It is quite refreshing to have a superstar actually preform like he was supposed to. Sidney was rated #5 to start the season. I picked him in the 7th spot in the draft and he finished #1 overall. He is the youngest player to league the league in points- he's just 19! Congrats Sidney.
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Vanilla Ice Hockey was quite top heavy at the Center position. In addition to Sidney, there was Jason Spezza, Marc Savard, and Chris Drury (a Buffalo Sabre). Spezza was rated 10 in the preseason. He finished rated 17, which isn't bad. But he missed some games (I want to say 20 or so). When he was in there, he rated 6th overall (in average production per game). Savard was 49th in the preseason and ended 14th. Savard was near the top of the league in assists. And Drury was rated 116th and finished 89th. He scored 37 goals playing against the other teams top lines. Solid Chris, solid indeed. Crosby, Savard and Spezza were the #1, #7, and #8 centers overall.
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Left Wing was where Vanilla Ice Hockey won the league. Thomas Vanek (the Great Wiki Karmel's favorite Buffalo Sabre), was rated in the preseason 74th. He finished 9th. Vanek led the league in +/- and was the first Sabre in a few years to score 40 goals (he had 43). Evgeni Malkin (the greatest Jewish Athlete today) was rated 90th. He finished 15th overall and will win the Rookie of the Year award. And Daniel Sedin, playing on a line with his twin brother Henrik, finished 21st overall. He was rated 77th in the preseason. These three players were the #2, #3, and #4 left wingers overall.
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Right Wing was another power position for the Great Wiki Karmel. Jerome Iginla, a former 50 goal scorer, was rated 24th and finished 18th. Martin St. Louis, a former Hart Trophy winner, was 79th and finished 22nd. He scored 43 goals. I did not draft St. Louis- he was a free agent pick up. They were the #6 and #7 right wingers overall.
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The defense was decent for Vanilla Ice Hockey. Sheldon Souray, another free agent pickup, led the way. He was rated 30th. He was one of the top defensemen on the power play. Dion Phaneuf, while somewhat of a disappointment, finished 50th (he was rated 31st preseason). Phaneuf is a hard hitting up-and-coming star. They rated #3 and #7 among defensemen. Buffalo Sabre Brian Campbell (of RJ Umberger fame) and Sami Salo were the other two defensemen- both rated in the high 100's.
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The goaltending for Vanilla Ice Hockey was solid (though the skaters were my strength). Ray Emery finished 8th among goaltenders, Thomas Vokoun 12th, and Marc-Andre Fluery 14th. Fluery was maddeningly inconsistent all season. For a stretch he would be unbeatable and give me a lot of shutouts. Then he would be benched due to poor play. Oh Marc-Andre! (By the way, Fluery, in my humble opinion, has the best looking pads of any goalie in the league- bright yellow). Vokoun was injured for much of the season but was stellar when he was there, finishing in the top five in goals against average and save percentage.
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There were 8 teams in the league. I drafted/picked up 9 of the top 27 skaters. While the goaltending situation let me down often, my skaters dominated the league. Good job guys.
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The Great Wiki Karmel, my loyal readers, will now go back to being your humble servant.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

I prefer Subway

Apparently a coyote, yes, a coyote, walked into a Quiznos shop in Chicago and sat down. Nothing happened; animal control removed the coyote and plan on releasing it back into the wild if it's healthy. The Associated Press quipped:

For one day, at least, the roadrunner was safe. It seems the coyote was hankering for another kind of fast food.

Hahahaha. I'm sure loyal reader Andrew Elliott, (soon to be) Esq. enjoyed that.

BUFF-A-LO!

The Great Wiki Karmel, as many of my loyal readers know, grew up in Buffalo, and thus is a proud Sabres and Bills fan. The official family of the Wiki Karmel had season tickets to both teams for various periods of time. Unfortunately, the Bills have fallen on hard times in recent years, but, as with all New York City Buffalo Bills Backers (NYCBBB), I have faith. Despite my faith, however, ESPN decided that the Buffalo Bills fans are the most tortured fans in all of (American) sports. We have Wide Right and Music City Miracle... so sad.

The good news is that ESPN also decided that the "Buffalo Sabres rank No. 1 among 122 pro sports teams based on what they give back to fans who invest their time and money in the organization. " GO SABRES! Makes me proud to be a Buffalonian.

Just passing this along

The Great Wiki Karmel thoroughly enjoys reading Ask Yahoo! every day. I thought this was interesting: there has been war continuously for the past 5,000 years.

Wait. What?

An article in the New York Times discusses admissions into top universities for fall 07. Apparently, demographics and the common application may have contributed to a record number of applicants at Ivy and equivalent schools, which in turn is leading to lower admission rates. Harvard, for example, turned down 1,100 applicants with a perfect 800 on the Math section of the SAT's. Somehow the Great Wiki Karmel doubts he would have gotten into Wash U today. I did enjoy this quote though:

“The successful students have to have shown some passion for science and technology in high school or their personal life,” Ms. Perry [of Cal Tech] said. “That means creating a computer system for your high school, or taking a tractor apart and putting it back together.”

Should this be a requirement? YES!

As many of my loyal readers know, the Great Wiki Karmel will be homeless August 1st, that is unless I find somewhere to live before then (FGS (Fort Worth, TX) will be going to grad school). Thus I'm scouring Craigslist looking for apartments. Now I realize that living with random people may go awry, but if I can find a roommate who wants this, I should be all set (sadly, the Great Wiki Karmel damaged the current coffee table playing video games...).

Monday, April 02, 2007

A Place on the Interweb for Wiki Karmel

Some of my loyal readers may have noticed that Wiki Karmel is not hosted at blogspot anymore. I have registered the domain Wikikarmel.com. It will be a glorious place (as of yet, there is nothing there). There is much work to be done and I'm sure all of my loyal readers are eagerly looking forward to it. Be patient. In time, the Great Wiki Karmel's vision will be realized. Until then, enjoy the new host.