Speaking of which...

This is still to all of you jackass tourists: The Great and Omniscient WikiKarmel spotted your Queen yesterday. I was on my way home from work and this woman got on at the Smithsonian stop (during rush hour....). This woman was the visual epitome of all that is evil. We'll start from the bottom up:

• She was wearing white sneakers. And this is not the stylish kind of white sneakers. More like the dorky old man (which I totally hope to become one day....when I'm a dorky old man- not a 40 year old woman) kind.
• She had on tapered light colored jeans. Like the kind people wore in 1992. Hiked up high with white socks on underneath them.
• She was wearing a Disney World sweatshirt that was huge on her. Did not fit at all. Big puffy, hooded sweatshirt.
  
• She had an enormous camera around her neck. Twice the size of her (and this was not a slender woman). This is the kind of camera that professional photographers use. Not housewives from Ohio.
• Hanging off of the strap for the camera was a charm. A Micky Mouse charm...
• She had a perm. A huge one. We're talking Linda Hamilton circa original Terminator perm.
• She also had a huge backpack on. Which she was swinging all over the place willy-nilly. Especially when she was trying to look at the metro map.
• She had her little daughter with her. The only thing I recall from her was her sweatshirt. It said Midwestern Dance Academy (which confirmed my suspicions). This girl was 10. Maybe 12. She was not a little girl, to put it delicately.* There was no way she was going to become a dancer. Why do parents force these things down kids throats? Eh, topic for another day I suppose....
  

*Yeah, I'm an asshole. Fine.

They're Baaaaaack...

The Great and Wise WikiKarmel is not a misanthrope. Ok, well maybe just a little. I hate people. Now, my loyal readers, this of course does not include you. You are all persons to me. Even if I don't know one of my loyal readers personally, we share some sort of kindred spirit. Hence, person.

People, on the other hand, suck. They are rude, ignorant, and not self-aware. When they travel to foreign places (you can see where I'm going with this..), they do not even make an attempt to follow the rules and customs of the natives. Are they rude? Do they say to themselves, "Fuck the natives. I'll do what I want." Are they ignorant? Do they make an attempt at all to learn the customs of another area or are they just in their own world where everything is peachy kean? Are they just not aware of the fact that things are done differently in different places? WHEN IN ROME, PEOPLE!!!!!


It's Cherry Blossom season in DC. Which means it's the start of the tourist season in DC. I hate tourists. They come into your city and fuck everything up for the people who live there. For some reason, they all have to use mass transit during rush hour. There are many hours between rush hours- why do you have to go from place to place then? The most crowded time of the day. You are on vacation. You can be flexible. I have just worked 8/10/12 hours and I'm irritable. I want to go home and eat dinner or have a beer with my friends. You are a jackass who has to ask everyone on the metro to move aside so you can see the map of the system (it's not that hard people. Look online before you go out).

You stand on the left side of the escalator. You stop suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk when there are people right behind you. What are you doing? Looking at a tall building? Are you kidding me? It's a building. Not that interesting. If you really feel the need to take a picture of it (not that you can't probably find dozens of pictures on flickr), look around before you stop. Move over to the edge of the sidewalk. And don't take pictures with people in them so everyone has to walk around you: that just pisses us natives off even more.

And it's just starting. It'll go straight through until December. Once winter break is over, we will have 3 solid months of cold, windy, dark days to enjoy before you jackasses come back. That is all..